It's been 30 years since Meri and Kody Brown tied the knot, and the Sister Wives stars are assessing where their complicated polygamist relationship currently stands.
"We are in a place where we're just figuring out where we are and, you know, what is happening," Meri, 50, tells PEOPLE ahead of the TLC series' season 10 premiere on Sunday.
Kodym 52, wed Meri, his first wife, in April 1990. Three years later, the pair welcomed sister wife Janelle into their plural marriage, who was followed in 1994 by Christine. Most recently, Robyn joined the Brown family as Kody's fourth wife in 2010.
Though Kody was originally legally married to only Meri, she agreed to divorce him so that he could tie the knot with Robyn in 2014 — a legal change that allowed Robyn's three kids from her previous marriage to access the same insurance and other benefits as the rest of Kody's children. (He and his four wives have a combined 18 children.)
Despite the legality of the divorce, Kody considers himself to be spiritually married to all four wives.
In 2015, Meri dropped the shocking bombshell that she'd been "catfished" after having an online relationship with someone she thought was a man, but was actually a woman. Attempting to repair their relationship, Kody and Meri entered therapy to deal with the emotional fallout from the scandal.
A few years after the scandal, in 2018, Kody admitted that he didn't desire to be intimate with Meri — a feeling he seemingly still holds today.
In the Sister Wives season 10 supertease, exclusively revealed by PEOPLE last month, one of her fellow sister wives said that Meri's relationship with Kody had become "really sad."
"I can't make him love me," Meri said in a confessional about Kody, who told the cameras that "romance and sex are saved for people who are in love." He added: "If Meri and I really wanted to be together, we would."
Reflecting on her vulnerable comment, Meri tells PEOPLE, "It's true. I cannot make any one person feel any way about anything."
While the on-air statement was "obviously" in reference to her relationship with Kody, Meri says it's also something she's been "really trying to embrace" overall.
"I just need to let each person in my life, whoever they are, be who they are and feel what they feel instead of trying to make them feel something other than what they're feeling," she says. "And that's just something that I've really been working on."
Sister Wives season 10 premieres Sunday at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.
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