My wife's insecurities have hurt our sex life and now I can't perform

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I used to have a really hot sexual relationship.

She is 41, I am 39 and we would have sex at least three times a week.


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I still fancy her more than any other woman I have ever met.

But a few months ago we were having intercourse and it all went wrong.

She didn’t seem interested and was just lying there.

She normally talks constantly through sex, which I find a total turn-on. But this time she was silent.

When I stopped, she asked if I had orgasmed and when I admitted I hadn’t, all hell broke loose.

She started shouting at me that I didn’t fancy her. It was awful.

The next morning nothing was said and a couple of days later when we tried to have sex I couldn’t get an erection.

Over the next few weeks, I tried everything, refraining from pleasuring myself, rushing to the bedroom to get myself erect ready for her but it all ended in disaster.

DEIDRE SAYS: Sex starts in your head and it only takes a moment’s doubt to put anyone off their stride.

The incident when sex didn’t work out and your wife getting cross has dented your confidence and now you are in a cycle of fear of failure.

My support pack Solving Erection Problems will help you but you need to start tackling issues in your relationship, which is where sexual problems begin.

Your wife needs to understand being verbally abusive is part of the problem.

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