My boyfriend spent a month’s salary on my Christmas gifts but they’re tacky

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my boyfriend that he spent a month’s salary on a Christmas gift I hate? 

The bracelet he bought is tacky, and I’m desperate to return it. 

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I know I sound spoilt, but I have quite specific tastes – so much so that my family always give me vouchers or money so I can choose my own presents. 

On Christmas eve, my partner told me he’d thought he ‘smashed it’ when it came to my presents this year, so I was really excited. 

But on Christmas morning, I was given, quite frankly, the cheapest looking bracelet I’ve ever seen. 

My boyfriend knows I only wear gold jewellery – so why did he buy me a rose gold bangle with pink sapphires set in it? 

I pretended to like it when I opened it in front of his family as I didn’t want to seem rude. 

My mum thinks I should just pretend to like it, and wear it occasionally to please him, but I don’t like the thought of lying to him. 

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He’s 24, I’m 22 and we’ve been together for 18 months. 

Do I ask if he can send it back and risk hurting his feelings? 

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DEIDRE SAYS: Deidre says: This is a difficult situation – you have to decide whether it’s better to hide the truth to save your boyfriend’s feelings or hope that he values your honesty.  

If you’d rather tell the truth, there are ways to let him know gently. 

Explain to your partner that especially because he was so generous, you want him to spend his money wisely.

Kindly tell him it isn’t the sort of thing you would normally go for.

Ask how he’d feel if you could look for something together that you'll treasure, and want to wear every day. 

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