I'm worried about moving in with my girlfriend because I'm autistic

DEAR DEIDRE: THE thought of moving in with my girlfriend terrifies me.

I’m autistic and although I love her and want to live with her, I’m not sure I’m ready to leave my parents’ home.

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I’m 27 and my girlfriend is 29. We’ve been together for four years, since we met at university.

She’s fed up with only seeing me at weekends and says she wants us to live together properly, like grown-ups, not in what she calls a “teenage relationship”.

But I’m scared of moving away from my family home. It makes me feel so stressed and anxious.

My home is like my security blanket – I need my routines.

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Even trying to break down the idea of moving out into smaller, more manageable tasks makes me panic.

Help please.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It can be difficult for people with autism to deal with change.

But unless you try living with your girlfriend, you won’t know if you like it. Sometimes we need to do things that are scary.

Talk to her and explain how anxious this is making you, so she can help you.


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Perhaps you can move out slowly, staying with her one night at a time, so it isn’t so overwhelming.

Contact anxietyuk.org.uk (03444 775 774) for support.

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