I love my partner but his teeth are terrible, stained and with plaque all over

DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE my partner but his teeth are terrible. They are stained and have plaque all over them.

He is 35 and I am 32. I still fancy him but his teeth turn my stomach.

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I have asked him to get them cleaned but he says he can’t because he has a phobia of the dentists. He looks great in his smart clothes but then he smiles and I have to turn away.

Our sex life is suffering because I can’t even bear to kiss him. It is such a turn-off.

Now he has started to complain that we don’t have sex any more. 

I don’t want to insult him but I really can’t face getting that close to him.

You can be firm without being unkind. Explain that he has to do something about this for the sake of your sex life and relationship. 

He needs to see a dentist and can be reassured the first appointment would simply be a check up.

DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as if he may simply need a clean and polish, but if he does need more he can ask to be referred to a NHS sedation clinic – for patients who are very nervous. 

Tell him how good he would look with cleaner teeth. Once he knows it will put kissing and sex back on the agenda I’m sure he will encouraged to make an appointment. 

My support pack Afraid Of The Dentist? will reassure him.

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