DEAR DEIDRE: DISCOVERING my fiancé cheated on me with a woman in her sixties has left me so insecure.
I’m 31 and my fiancé is 36.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
- Dear Deidre on Mental Health
- Dear Deidre on Identity
- Dear Deidre on Debt and Money
- Dear Deidre on Work
- Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing
- Dear Deidre on Addiction
It hurts that he turned to someone more than 30 years older than me.
It began when our neighbour’s car broke down in our street and my fiancé helped her. Apparently she was very grateful.
He began regularly popping around to help her with DIY.
At the same time, he started going to the gym and taking care of what he ate, even cutting back on the beers.
Then he told me he wasn’t attracted to me any more. He said my body was a turn-off and he prefered to pleasure himself.
We were both heavy when we met. Back then it wasn’t a problem, as we agreed we both liked a fuller figure.
I’ll admit I have gained a lot more weight since and am now classed as morbidly obese.
I became depressed after my mum died of a heart attack when I was 25. I have never come to terms with her death. I just can’t get over it.
Food is the only thing that seems to comfort me. I’m trying my best to lose weight but it’s so hard.
I was suspicious of this neighbour and my fiancé but he always denied it, accusing me of being “sick”. So the next time he went to her place, I followed 30 minutes later.
She took ages to come to the door and finally answered in a dressing gown looking very flustered.
I was devastated but relieved when he finally admitted everything.
We are still together for the sake of our two-year-old daughter and he insists he has finished the affair.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
But he’s so resentful towards me.
He shouts and swears at me all the time. I feel sad a lot of the time. I’m existing, not living.
Most read in Dear Deidre
My girlfriend had drunk sex with a woman but said it's not really cheating
Is it weird that my Australian uncle pats my bum and calls me sexy?
I don't know how we'll pay the rent when my husband has his cancer surgery
My noisy neighbour drives me crazy but no one believes me because he's posh
DEIDRE SAYS: Swearing and using words that hurt, belittle or put you down is emotional abuse.
He is the one responsible for wrecking your relationship. He’s shown you no respect and lied to you. You deserve better than this.
My support pack Abusive Partners? explains more.
What will make you feel better almost immediately is to take control of your life.
Lose the extra weight – not because of your fiancé’s cruel comments but because it would be great for your well-being. Ask your GP for an eating and exercise plan.
Emotional eating after the death of a loved one is a very common side-effect of bereavement but it is not too late to seek support.
My support pack Coping With Bereavement will help you too.
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I'm happily married but have fallen in love with my colleague
READ DEIDRE'S STORIES Abi enjoyed watching porn more than she expected
GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us
Source: Read Full Article