The marriage of Angelina Pivarnick and Chris Larangeira started with a bang, and the drama has been non-stop ever since.
We’re sure you remember the bridesmaids’ speech at Angelina’s wedding and the year of hostility (okay, 10 months of hostility) that followed.
Well, now all that’s resolved, and it seems that being pissed off about the speech might have been the only thing these two had in common.
Yes, despite the roommates best intentions, last year’s wedding re-do didn’t magically fix all of Chris and Angelina’s problems.
In fact, if last night’s episode of Jersey Shore Family Vacation was any indication, things have been getting progressively worse for the Staten Island duo.
Before we delve into the latest rumors about the possibility that Angelina and Chris are getting divorced, we have to address the elephant in the room:
This episode of Shore was painfully boring.
We know the show is limited not only by Covid restrictions, but by the pregnancies and family obligations of its cast.
Some would say that might mean they should take more than a month off between seasons so that we wouldn’t need to be subjected to an episode in which a freakin’ cookie-baking contest provided the bulk of the dramatic tension.
Pauly D proposing to Nikki Hall was nice and all, but it was the last 10 seconds of the episode, and the engagement rumors have been circulating for months.
Anyway, it’s possible that because of the lack of drama, producers felt the need to exaggerate the Angelina-Chris situation for fear that viewers would lapse into a boredom coma from which they might never emerge.
Regardless, neither Pivarnick nor Larangeira is that good of an actor — which leads us to believe there’s some teal tension there.
“My sex life is dog s—. It’s so f—ing ridiculous,” Angelina said in a discussion with Jenni and Deena over a charcuterie board.
(The less said about the botched attempts to pronounce that word, the better.)
“It’s weird. It’s like we’ll fight and whoever starts the fight won’t wanna bang,” Pivarnick continued.
“So then you got, he don’t wanna bang, I don’t wanna bang, nobody wants to bang.”
In a surprising display of candor, Angelina admitted that it’s not all Chris’ fault.
“I’m not perfect, by all means. I’m not the most perfect wife ever, I literally yell at him, I’ll belittle him sometimes.” she confessed.
“I feel like we’re both wrong. But see how I’m admitting it to you. He won’t f—ing ever admit he’s wrong.”
During the Zoom calls that made up way too much of the episode, Chris added fuel to the fire.
“Let me check my hand,” he joked at one point. “The ring is on today, today we’re good.”
From there, Angelina stunned her castmates with her confession that Chris had “moved out like six times” during the first year of their marriage.
Chris conceded that he had stayed at his mother’s house after several intense fights, but he claims he always intended to move back in.
“I’m having sex, just not with you,” he joked.
Needless to say, the remark didn’t sit well with all of the roommates.
“That doesn’t seem like a joke,” JWoww complained.
Actually, it did seem like a joke, but we can still see why she might have been concerned.
“They haven’t been happy since the wedding,” Ronnie later observed in a conversation with Pauly.
“That marriage took a toll on everybody for one year. If that doesn’t last, all that was for nothing,” Pauly added.
From there, the two joked that Pauly might have to DJ a “divorce party.”
Tension continued to escalate when the cast learned that Chris planned to remove the hamster sh–ting period blood tattoo that Angelina made him get as part of Snooki’s short-lived reality show How Far Is Tattoo Far?
“Do you think they’re getting a divorce?” asked JWoww.
“Definitely trouble in paradise over there,” added Vinny.
In short, yes — it doesn’t seem like Angelina and Chris are built to last for the long haul.
That said, we wouldn’t read too much into Chris getting his tattoo removed.
That thing was hideous from the start, and the fact that he kept it as long as he did is astonishing.
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