I refused to adopt my cousin’s four kids – she says I’m ruining their life by denying them a family

FAMILIES are sometimes forced to be flexible in order to help children, or elderly relatives, however, could you become a parent out of the blue?

One woman was faced with the difficult decision of taking on four children but couldn't bring herself to do it.

Her decision caused a major issue so she decided to turn to reddit for advice.

She wrote: "I, 27, grew up being pretty close to my cousin, also 27.

"Then in high school she got really into the drugs/party thing and ended up dropping out in her senior year,” she explained.

“She eventually had my nephew ‘Evan’, now 8. I babysat a lot for her — I was attending college locally, so I was around to help out.” She continued.


“Long story short, the stuff I saw ended up with me calling CPS (Child Protection Services).

"They determined it wasn't bad enough yet to remove Evan but did give her some kind of parenting plan. Not sure what, as she cut off everyone in the family at this point." She wrote.

“Fast-forward to now, I moved away for grad school, then came back to my hometown,” she said as she hadn’t heard from her cousin since she had left to pursue her education.

"She contacted me through an older email account,” the poster explained.

“She said that CPS had removed Evan and his siblings Connor, 5, and Gracie, 3, three years ago — I wasn't even aware she'd had other kids.”

After leaving her cousins house, the kids had been staying with a foster family.

“Now CPS was taking away her rights for not working her plan, and she had given my name to them as a relative who would adopt them,” she continued, which is why her cousin reached out in the first place.

“She begged me to take them, since I was the only family member who even had a possibility to (parents have health issues, other cousins are too young/in college etc.),” the poster revealed.

“Turns out the foster parents also have my cousin's youngest child Anna, 1,— which my cousin never mentioned!” she wrote, shocked.

“I guess since was born later in the case, she's not on the same timeline, and my cousin isn't losing her rights to Anna yet.”

She met her cousins' kids and their foster parents in a local park, to help her make the extremely difficult decision.

After seeing the kids in person, she thought they all seemed happy and it was clear that “the kids LOVE their foster family."

“The family had two older kids — I'd guess older teens — and I could see the bond between all of them.” She said.

“I decided not to try and take the kids, but the foster parents are allowing me to stay involved in their life as an aunt figure,” she wrote.

“Evan (the oldest child of her cousin) still remembers me vaguely, and was happy to see me.”

She didn’t want to take the kids from the foster home because, quite honestly, she didn’t want the drama.

“On top of not wanting to take them from the only home most of the kids remember, I also don't want to deal with my cousin — she's still using and is not someone I want in my life right now,” she sadly admitted.

“When I told my cousin, she was furious,” she recalled, after confronting her about her kids situation.

“She said the kids deserve to grow up with their family, and I'm doing a terrible thing by not adopting them.”

The kids helpful foster parents said they were willing to adopt the youngest and they would also be willing to care for the baby that her cousin is currently pregnant with.

The poster had to ask Reddit if she was in the wrong for not wanting to adopt her nieces and nephews.

One person advised her: “The kids sound like they are in a good place, it sounds like they are happy and healthy and perhaps may even be adopted by them in the future.”

“Bonus, you can stay part of their lives. Screw your cousin, you probably already know that she wants you to adopt the kids so she can manipulate things and get back in their lives and be a complete pain in [your] ass.”

Another poster pointed out that: “The kids are together in a stable positive family where they are loved and cared for."

“It’s the home they know. Why would you break that up?”

Another commenter weighed in that: “You clearly have these children’s best interests at heart and your cousin clearly does not."

“Staying with a family that loves them and lets you stay involved as an aunt figure sounds like the perfect solution here.”

“You are putting the children first,” added someone else, reminding the group of the priorities in the situation.

“The foster parents are one in a million. If they came out of the system and had to go back in, what are the odds they'd get another great family. Also, you are great for wanting to stay involved in their lives."

For more real life stories, this mum is dating her son’s friend – he’s 17 years younger & the same age as her boy.

And this mum who told she was infertile got pregnant without IVF – then discovered she was having QUINTS.

Plus this woman was called a ‘disgusting fat pig’ who was good for ‘one f**k’ when she turned a bloke down on Tinder – so got him fired.

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